Jamie wouldn't kill anyone...unless Teddy told him to!

"Down in the pit there's something alive. Half-human half-monster half-crazed. Prey to God it only kills you."Jamie Benjamin (Sammy Snyders) is a very socially awkward autistic boy who is picked on and humiliated by his peers. His neighbors find him very strange and his parents don't acknowledge him at all. One day Jamie stumbles across a huge pit in the woods and discovers that there are these weird creatures living at the bottom called troglodytes. Jamie begins to bring them things to eat and it is not until he makes a trip to the local meat market until he discovers what the trogs really want...meat. He tries to lure a cow and some chickens to the pit, but he ultimately fails. Jamie gets the idea from his teddy bear to luring the kids who pick on him, an old lady in a wheel chair and other random bystanders to the pit, providing the trogs with some human meals. Jamie's parents are gone for a while so he is living with the house sitter Sandy O'Reilly (Jeannie Elias). Sandy quickly finds out that Jamie is not a normal boy. Jamie tells Sandy the secret of the pit which she quickly dismisses as one of his fantasies, but soon she finds out the truth of what waits in the woods.

The Pit, aka Teddy, was directed by Lew Lehman and written by Ian A. Stuart. Stuart's first draft of the story had the Trogs just being a figment of Jamie's imagination, but Lehman did not like this and wanted the trogs to be real creatures, which they ended up agreeing on being the best way to go for the film.

Anchor Bay released The Pit on dvd on a double feature also including the film Hellgate. The transfer is not the greatest, it looks like VHS quality.

Sammy Snyders who plays Jamie did an absolute great job playing a disturbed young boy in a truly creepy performance. The film is just strange and hard to explain, you just have to see it to believe it. The trogs looked pretty weird and the special effects were good for 1981. The film also has a strange score, during the montage of when Jamie throwing people in the pit there is some cheerful music playing making it all that much more bizarre. The Pit is just a strange fun film to watch, I guarantee you have never seen anything like it. This is a recommend for all horror fans.

Rating: C

Review by Jason

There Is No Escape!

When a radioactive spill causes thousands of citizens to be turned in flesh eating super-zombies, the military do everything they can to stop the ever increasing threat to humanity, and failing horribly. The film opens with a great scene when a unidentified plane lands at the airport. Authorities surround the plane with no idea who is on board. The door is lowered and a hundred zombies come running out stabbing, biting, beating and shooting everyone in sight in an unbelievable sequence. So right off the bat we realize these are not the traditional Ramero or Fulci zombies we are used to, in fact they are like nothing you have ever seen before. Soon the insanely energetic zombies raid a TV station raising all kinds off hell including one woman getting her boob cut off. It becomes quite apparent that these zombies mean business, their true plan is complete domination, and these contaminated mutants do not slowly roam the streets, these bastards run fast as hell and will go to any extreme to get their victim. During all this madness we follow a local reporter Dean Miller and wife who is a doctor as they try to find their own ways to escape the atomic zombies, and many die along the way.

Nightmare City, aka Incubo sulla città contaminata , was released in 1980 and was directed by legendary Italian exploitation film marker Umberto Lenzi, who directed some sleazy flicks such as Cannibal Ferox, Eaten Alive and Nightmare Beach. Nightmare made it on the Video Nasties list in 1982 almost the same time as Lenzi's other film Eaten Alive! It was finally passed uncut on January 13, 2003.

The great DVD company Blue Underground released a superb DVD of Nightmare City in 2008 including an interview with Umberto Lenzi named Tales of the contaminated city. During the commentary, Lenzi states that this film is based around events that could really happen. He compares the contamination in the film to the AIDS epidemic.

Nightmare City is like nothing else you have ever seen. It feels more like an action movie than a zombie film, and at the heart of the film it truly is. It really feels like Lenzi was just trying to cash in on the latest trend which happened to be zombies, so he made an all out crazy non stop action flick and decided to throw some contaminated mutants. The film is a roller coaster ride of madness from beginning to end including automatic weapons, knives, exploding heads, limb tearing, and just about anything else you can imagine making it a really fun movie. The zombies don't look anything like traditional zombies, most of them look the same with melted faces, but the special effects crew make up for that with all the other effects that take place through out the film. Lenzi really went all out on this film creating scene after scene of zombie action and never letting up. You get more bullet flying action in this zombie film than you do from straight action films released around the same time. Although not very scary, I love this film for what it is, a straight up zombie action gore fest that is completely entertaining and a lot of fun.

Rating: B-

Review by Jason

You Booze, You ooze!

Street Trash is a dirty, grimy, slimy, gritty, gory piece of cinematic sleaze that oozes with special effects and wears it's low-budget's charm like a metal of honor. Two runaways Fred ( Mike Lackey ) and his younger brother Kevin ( Mark Sferrazza ) are living a hard knocking life in a junkyard (filmed in Greenpoint, Brooklyn NY) surrounded by Hobos, drunks, rapists, lowlifes, and a psychopathic Vietnam Vet named Bronson who owns the auto wrecking yard. Life and times at the junkyard becomes a peek into the lives of some true degenerates. When the owner of the local liquor store Ed's Liquor finds a crate of 40 year old bottles of liquor named Tenafly Viper in his basement, he decides to sell the stuff at a dollar a bottle. It doesn't take long for some of the local hobos to notice the cheap stuff and decide to give it a try, causing them to melt and ooze to death when their insides are turned into florescent colors and pour for every opening. The style of these scenes are one of a kind and is something never attempted in any other film with some really vibrant paint creating some super-brilliant death scenes. The scene where a bum drinks a bottle of the Viper and melts down to a fleshy mess of bright slime and sucked down a toilet is especially nasty and great at the same time.

The director is Jim Muro who went on to work on some blockbusters like Terminator 2 , JFK, Titanic and over fifty other films. Roy Frumkes who was the writer played a small role in the film where he gets his face burned off and actually was an extra in the original Dawn of the Dead, he played one of the zombies to be hit in the face with a pie by the bikers. He was also the writer for Document of the dead. Drakes Cakes sponsored the film so the staff practically lived on the snacks for the whole three month shoot. Brian Singer ( X-men, Superman returns) was a production assistant and was fired and then rehired during post production.

Some of the great tag lines are "If you've never seen a movie melt before.... be prepared!", "It melts", "Things in New York are about to go down the toilet..." and "Just when you thought you had seen it all".

Street Trash was released in 1987 by Lightning video. It since has been released on laser disc and Synapse films put out a couple great DVD's completely uncut including extras.

Street Trash is pure vile trashy cinema, and not in a bad way either. After you get through all 102 minutes of the film you feel like you just spent a few days in a dumpster. The movie rolls along like a freight train of filth, not holding back on any of it's gore which is the greasy gravy of this dirty dish served up on celluloid. I absolutely loved it! A big garbage stained thumbs up.

Rating: B-

Review by Jason

Live Dead Nudes

They'll Swallow Your Soul, Anything Else Will Cost You.

The movie opens with a news story updating the state of the U.S. and the ongoing war with a number of Nations including "Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Venezuela, France and Alaska." George W. Bush has been re-elected for his fourth term as president and Arnold Schwarzenegger is the vice president. Due to the increasing loss of American soldiers the government has started a research program in a military facility in Sartre, Nebraska testing the effects of a new chemical that re-animates the dead in an attempt to increase the size of military forces with super zombie soldiers. Although there is a problem, the zombies are out of control. During the fight to control the zombies, one of the soldiers (Byrdflough) is bitten by a zombie and flees the facility fearing he will be killed if the others find out. He ends up at a strip club run by Ian who is played by the famous Robert Englund (Freddy). The usual things that go on in a strip club play out as there is a lot of stripping and many drooling patrons. The soldier finally snaps after the infection from the bite takes full effect and attacks one of the strippers Kat ( Jenna Jameson of porn fame ) and rips her throat out. Soon Kat becomes a zombie yet keeps on stripping, in fact, now being a zombie has turned her into a "Super Stripper" with new skills outshining all the other strippers and bringing in more money. Once the other girls pick up on this, one by one they decide to give in and become zombies. During all of this the new stripper who is very religious and only doing this to get money for her grandmother, struggles with the decision whether or not to become a zombie. Although the girls look dead and rotted, this does not seem to faze the guys, in fact it makes them more interested and willing to spend all their money on these demonic dancers. It does not take long before the guys starting being attacked and slaughtered and thrown in a cage in the basement. There are tons of scenes of the zombie strippers dancing, Ian reveling in the amount of cash being brought in and lap dances ending in death. Things start spinning way out of control and when the zombies in the basement are let out it becomes a full on fight for Ian and the few remaining employees to escape the club without becoming zombies themselves. During all this there is a great scene where Kat fights one of the other zombie strippers and she shoots ping pong balls and pool balls out of her vagina in a great fight between the two. There is a ton of CGI gore in the film but it does look really good, and in one scene that was done really well, a guy gets his face ripped in two.

Robert Englund, who seems to have an appearance in everything nowadays, does a really great job as the greedy, sleazy, conniving club owner willing to keep the place open no matter what. He has some great lines like "Back off, you walking herpe you!", "Tired of that same old lap dance? Well pull up an extra seat, young fellas, and experience Rino's exclusive face dance! One of our lovely ladies will sit on your face and give birth to your head!" and " Why don't you get on the bread truck and haul buns!"

Jay Lee is the writer and director of Zombie Strippers and does not have too much in his resume besides some straight-to-DVD pictures. Jenna Jameson's boyfriend Tito Ortiz (UFC) featured on the poster, makes a ten second appearance as the bouncer, and soon bounces himself. The DVD was released in 2008 by Sony including commentary with Jenna, Englund, Joey Medina and Jay Lee. It also includes a behind the scenes featurette and a another titled "How to glam a zombie".

Zombie strippers was a lot of fun to watch and stayed entertaining all the way through with some great dialogue and nice special effects. It blends the comedy and the gore perfectly making it a perfect beer and pretzels movie. I would not recommend this as a solo watch, so invite a bunch of friends over and pop this DVD in, you won't be disappointed. Just remember-They'll dance for a fee, but devour you for free.

Rating B-

Review by Jason

Bat cave

They Were Chosen To Live. But They Were Destined To Die! Chosen Survivors tells the tale of eleven citizens taken from their homes, chosen to be sent 1,758 feet underground in a bunker after a nuclear holocaust has wiped the planet clean of its inhabitants. The plan is to stay in this enormous bunker until it is safe to return to the surface. Five women and six men are the chosen few whose mission is to repopulate the earth after the disaster, that is if they can survive long enough to get out. What they don't know is that they are being tested for some psychological experiments by the government. After weeks and weeks of adjusting to their new underground home, they soon discover they are not the only inhabitants of the bunker and something lurks in the shadows.

The movie is way too slow as we get too many scenes of the group sitting around arguing, making it painfully boring watch and leaving the viewer begging for something to happen. At about the 45 minute mark we get the reveal of what is waiting to attack them in their seemingly safe subterranean refuge - bloodthirsty bats! The next 40 minutes is once again very uneventful until we get the pay-off ending when the bats attack in full force. The scenes involving the bats looked pretty good for the time and were frightening to someone like me who is afraid of bats. The blue lighting produced a strange glow that looked really cool, especially if you have all the lights off.

Directed by Sutton Roley, who directed many different TV shows, such as Airwolf, Charlie's Angels, Starsky and Hutch, Hawaii Five-O, and Kojak to name a few. The screenplay writer was H.B. Cross who only wrote two other films, Teenage Millionaire and Country Music Holiday. Fred Karlin was the composer. Chosen Survivors was was produced in Mexico and released in December of 1974.

MGM released this on DVD in a two pack with Earth Dies Screaming under the Midnite Movie collection with no extras.

The film makers had a good idea with some original themes, but it was poorly executed. The first problem is the 99 minute running time. It could have been cut down to 80 minutes. Also, there are just not enough scenes involving the bats, and way too many scenes where nothing happens. Recommend as a watch just for the bat scenes, you can fast-forward through the rest of the film.

Rating: D

Review by Jason

One Taste Is All It Takes!

Get ready for bloodthirsty giant animals and insects in this ultra-campy, funny, ecology gone berserk story taken from the classic H.G. Wells novel of the same title...Food of the Gods! When a Farmer living on a small island ( filmed in Bowen Island, British Columbia, Canada)discovers a strange foreign substance seeping from his land, he decides to run some experiments soon discovering that when given to animals it acts as a super-growth hormone making fruits and vegetables grow to extreme sizes at a frighteningly rapid rate. He immediately thinks he has hit the jack pot and plans to market the miracle hormone, but soon chickens, rats, worms and insects get into the substance and try it for them selves, morphing them into giant beasts on a rampage. When Morgan (Marjoe Gortner) and some friends decide to go on a hunting trip to the very island where the giant creatures dwell, it does not take long to find out they are the ones being hunted. Morgan is attacked by a giant killer chicken and almost dies as he fights his way out of the coup in a hilarious scene. The group is also attacked by giant wasps and discover their huge nest deep in the woods. The giant rats prove to be the most vicious and deadly as they attack with out warning in large groups. Those who survive some of the early attacks end up in a fight for their lives as they try to escape the island.

Directed by Bert I. Gordon ( Earth vs. the spider, The Amazing Colossal Man ) who was nicknamed "Mr. Big" for his initials and his giant monster movies of the 50's. He started making films at age nine and is known to be the director to have the most films shown on the great TV series Mystery science theater 3000. Gordon was also involved with most of the special effects in his films including this one with the help of Rick Baker, whose extensive resume includes The Exorcist, It's Alive, Star Wars, An American Werewolf In London, Michael Jackson's Thriller video and many other great films. They created six different mechanized rat heads and some rat costumes for some scenes. The story was adapted from a portion of the novel by H.G. Wells, Food of the gods proves to be a great "monster animals attack" film, if not the best in the sub-genre. It was released in 1976 by American International. The proportions of the rats compared to their surrounding stays pretty consistent and the miniatures that were made looked descent. Although it's mostly funny to watch now, there are a few frightening scenes and gory attacks throughout the movie.

MGM released a DVD of food of the gods in their Midnight Movies catalog with no extras. The film is rated PG.

I have a soft spot for classic creature features, and I do consider Food of the gods one of them. Once the movie starts it stays entertaining all the way through with laughs, scares and sheer joy watching the well executed effects for the killer creatures. This is definitely a recommend. Welcome to the bottom of the food chain!

Rating: B-

Review by Jason

Tastey treats

Larry Cohen has directed some classic cult-horror movies including It's alive and Q: The winged serpent to name a few. When he released The Stuff in 1985 in which he wrote and directed, he proved once again he is a true master in the genre and has an undeniable love for film. The Stuff is truly Larry Cohens love letter to the campy sci-fi flicks from the 1950's.

The story is pretty simple, when a group of miners discover a white Fluff-like substance oozing from the ground, they decide to taste it ( why they were eating stuff coming out of the ground I have no idea ) they soon discover it is the greatest thing they have ever eaten. Soon they market it and it becomes a full blown phenomenon everywhere, consumers just can't seem to get enough of the new marshmallow-like dessert...The Stuff! There is one side effect though, The Stuff takes over the mind and body of anyone who eats the mysterious new dessert, turning them into mindless beings who can't get enough of the highly addictive Stuff. A typical suburban middle-class kid named Jason (Scott Bloom)realizes this one night when he opens the refrigerator to discover The Stuff is moving, as he tries to warn his parents and brother of what is happening but it is too late for them. Jason runs away from home and meets up with David 'Mo' Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) who is investigating the Mystery of The Stuff. With the help from Colonel Malcolm Grommett Spears (Paul Sorvino) and others, they are on a mission to stop the alien substance in the form of a tasty treat, from taking over the whole world.

This is just a fun movie, and there are a number of great actors aside from the ones already mentioned including Garret Morris, Andrea Marcovicci, Danny Aiello and a few others. Through out the film are commercials for The Stuff that are just great and the jingle is catchy as hell. The scenes involving The Stuff attacking people are absolutely fantastic and well done. The hotel room scene looks great were they used a room (the same one from A Nightmare on elm street) that could rotate creating the effects of the stuff climbing up the wall and pinning a man to the ceiling. Another great scene and my personal favorite is when 'Chocolate Chip' Charlie's head becomes all distorted and starts spewing the stuff. Apparently there was a lot of Häagen Däzs ice-cream, yogurt and fire-extinguisher foam to create the Stuff.

Anchor Bay released a DVD of The Stuff in 2000 which includes the film in wide screen format and a commentary with director Larry Cohen.

As a kid growing up in the 80's, The Stuff was one of those movies we rented many, many times on good ol' VHS. The Stuff is a great monster movie, although I wish there was a few more scenes involving the stuff, they did extremely well with the effects making the experience pure eye candy. If you love the monster movies from the 50's you are going to love this film, it is really a loving tribute to some of Cohens favorite films that inspired him to get into film making. This one hits high on the fun scale, highly recommended.

Rating: C+

Review by Jason

Bigfoot gone crazy!

When I recently heard about this crazy Bigfoot film from 1980 and all the hype surrounding it I knew I had to see it, and it definitely lived up to all the hype. This film (not to be confused with Jacques Tourneur's film of the same name from the 1950's) was one of the three Bigfoot films to end up on the video nasties list of the 80's. Written by Mike Williams and directed by James c. Wasson, this campy little flick may have been low on budget but scores high on the gore scale.

When missing people's bodies start turning up mutilated in the woods, Professor Nugent leads his students into the deep woods to try and uncover the mystery. Along the way the Professor tells the tales of what happened to the victims, and we get a series of short scenes showing how the crazed Sasquatch killed his victims and the hilarity ensues. There is a ton of POV shots (red lens)from the Bigfoot lurking in the woods and hunting it's victims. We get scene after scene of pure early 80's cheese. There is a great scene involving an unlucky hiker who meets his demise in his sleeping bag, another when a poor biker decides to pee in the wrong bush, and many, many more. Then the story goes way over the edge when Professor Nugent and the students come across crazy Wanda's cabin deep in the woods. When she finally lets them in and after some serious coaxing, she tells her tale of being raped by the Bigfoot and giving birth to it's offspring. Wanda's father was so upset he killed the child, sending the Bigfoot on a bloodthirsty rampage of revenge. Will the professor and his students make it out of the woods alive?

Vipco released a heavily cut DVD of Night of the demon, that is now hard to find just like the VHS. This film has been lost into obscurity and I am pretty sure we are not going to be getting a special edition DVD anytime soon.

Some people hate this film and some love it, I think it's all about what kind of horror fan you are and weather or not you get a kick out of really cheese ball low-budget flicks or if you are a more serious fan and only like serious films, because that is really the only thing you can take away from this film, it's not really scary in any way. The score to the film is god awful but I think once again it works because it is like another piece to this demented puzzle. I am personally the kind of horror fan that enjoys films like this, and although it is slow at times I think it was cheap, gory, strange, and a hell of a lot of fun, every horror fan should see it once.

Rating:C

Review by Jason

They eat you!

Directed by Juan Piquer Simón an written by Ron Gantman and José Antonio Escrivá, Slugs oozes with special effects (few and far between) but is fairly predictable.

Deadly hugs

As a school bus carrying five young students travels through the small town of Ravensback, somewhere in New England, it passes through a toxic cloud covering the road due to a leak at the local nuclear plant. When the kids don't return home from school it set the parents off in a panic to find their children. The local sheriff Billy Hart (Gil Rogers) begins to investigate the mystery first finding the bus, but there are no kids to be found. When the kids start showing up at their homes, their parents are ecstatic to find their kids have made it back seemingly unharmed, that is until they receive a toxic hug melting the flesh right off their bones, kicking off a battle of kids against parents. One by one the zombie children off their parents and begin stalking the town for other victims. One cop who is investigating the case finds three of the kids in the middle of the road he is traveling and soon meets his fate. The three children show up at the local store where a woman who works there quickly finds out the truth and intent of these cute yet nasty little demons. John Freemont (Martin Shaker) who is the father of one of the missing kids Jenny (Clara Evans) is with the sheriff when he finds her, and it doesn't take long for him to realize she is not the girl he remembers. In one scene one of the kids is taken down with a shotgun and gets back up, seemingly unfazed the child's hands are then sliced off. They leave the ending open for a sequel.

The Children was released in 1980, directed by Max Kalmanowicz and written by Edward Terry and Carlton J. Albright . The director used the sounds of cats in heat for the noise the children make when they are killed.

Some of the taglines include "It only takes five to hold a town in TERROR!", "Thank god they are somebody else's." and "Something terrifying has happened to the children... pray you never meet them!"

The score was composed by Harry Manfredini (Friday the 13th), helping to ratchet the tension when ever the kids appear on screen.

Good ol' Troma released this on DVD with a not so good "Re-mastering" of the film.

This is a low budget film that has more "so bad it's good" moments than genuinely scary moments. Although there are a few creepy scenes being the kids standing in the middle of the road and some POV shots. The scenes involving the kids killing their parents with skin melting hugs are just funny and not scary in any way, although the make-up effects of the melting victims is OK at best. Making a film about nuclear zombie children is really tough to make scary, and this film is a perfect example.

Rating: D
Review by Jason

Rent a room...in hell!

As a teenager, Alison Parker witnessed her father committing adultery with two women and soon attempts suicide. Later she would attempt suicide again and again she would fail. After leaving the Catholic Church and searching for a place to live in New York on her own, away from the lawyer Michael Lerman (Chris Sarandon) she is currently living with, with the help of Miss Logan (Ava Gardener),she finds the perfect little place, or so she thinks. She soon meets some of her strange neighbors and is shocked to find out that she is the only one living in the apartment building besides a blind priest, Father Francis Matthew Halloran ( John Carradine ). Burgess Meredith ( who played Penguin in Batman from 1966 ) plays Alison's neighbor Charles Chazen who introduces her to her strange new neighbors. After a few really bizarre events one of which that just might be one of the most frightening scenes in horror history involving her undead father, Alison starts to think not everything is what it seems to be in this section of Brooklyn Heights, as Michael investigates some of the strange events. Soon Alison finds out the apartment just may be a gateway to hell producing one of the creepiest and most bizarre endings in horror movie history.

'Don Siegel almost took on the job of directing this film but back out after he read the script and refused to be involved due to the bizarre theme of the film. So Michael Winner was picked up as the director and Jeffrey Konvitz wrote the script. The Sentinel is a true classic in psychological horror, weaving a story filled with mystery and suspense so perfectly it has become a true supernatural thriller that outshines other films of it's era, most of which that fail to do what this film delivers.

The film does drag a bit through from the second act into the third, but never enough to render it completely uninteresting to the viewer. There are definitely a fair amount of "shock" scenes throughout the film that hit harder than bricks. Beverly D'Angelo ( Vacation ) makes an appearance as Sandra in a really weird masturbation scene that has to be seen to be believed. Christopher Walken also makes an appearance as Det. Rizzo.

When the film was released in 1977 there was a lot of controversy surrounding the film because they used real "human oddities" in a scene.

A DVD of The Sentinel was released in 2004 by Universal containing zero extras but a decent transfer of the film in wide screen format.

There is something about good horror films from the seventies that no other decade could capture, maybe it is the grittiness of the films themselves or maybe it was the exploration of more disturbing themes.The Sentinel is a shining example of horror and a proud product of it's time.With it's shocking imagery and unsettling tone, this is horror in it's purest form.

Rating: B-

Review by Jason

Kill your television

"You may never look at your television the same way again." This little looooow budget film was released in 1987 and was written, produced and directed by Robert Scott who directed only one other film called Ratdog. The rest of his career consisted of mainly working as unit director or assistant director on various projects. The Video Dead is basically a zombie film shot on video with a micro budget. The story goes a family receives a television that was supposed to be delivered to the Institute for The Studies of the Occult, so they accept it not knowing it is a TV from hell that is used as a portal for the undead to make there way back to the land of the living.
When the new owners ( the Blair Family)of the old abandoned home move in everything seems to be Ok, until the son Jeff discovers the demonic TV set in the basement quickly finding out that zombies are escaping from it. When Jeff finds out how to send the undead back to hell, since the parents are away in Saudi Arabia, it is up to Jeff and his sister Zoe (Roxana Augesen) to stop the blood bath becoming a battle of kids against zombies in suburbia.

Even with it's budget constraints, it does have a certain charm about it. The few zombies that are in the film look pretty decent, the best being the bride zombie who pops out of a washing machine for one kill scene. The zombies are not your typical zombies though, they laugh and hate seeing their reflections.

In one scene Jennifer Miro of the punk band The Nuns even appears on the TV and makes her way out of it. When she is sucked back in Jeff gets a warning from an odd looking man who goes by the name Garbageman, telling him of the grave danger they are in and what the TV's true intentions are. Soon Jeff comes up with some ideas on how to kill off the ever increasing zombies, one being to lock them in a small room making them go crazy and eat themselves. Another is to convince them that they are dead, because these zombies apparently hate being dead. In his third plan (this kid sure has a lot of theories) he proposes they try not acting scared around the zombies.

Currently there is no DVD release of The Video Dead.

For what it is and what it cost to make this is actually a fun little zombie film. It may be no Day of the dead or Return of the living dead but it is pretty original and has some really creepy moments. The cover is some amazing 80's art that jumps off the shelf and screams "rent me!", the kind you just don't see anymore. Recommended for it's low budget campyness.

Rating: C
Reviewed by Jason

Zombies, guns, and sex, OH MY!!!

Cemetery Man (aka Dellamorte Dellamore, Demons '95, Of death and love) was released in Italy in '94 and hit the U.S. in 96' becoming an instant cult classic. Directed by Italian Dario Argento protege Michele Soavi ( savior of Italian horror ), a creative, stylish and extremely imaginative director who went on to create only a few films, those later being Tv projects for Italian television. Soavi did infact work with the Italian master himself Dario Argento collaborating on a few projects including 1989's The Church and Dario Argento's world of horror. The producer Gianni Romoli also worked with Argento. Argento and Soavi are in no question the greatest Italian directors in horror cinema, they both had such unique styles, creative direction and are just brilliant film makers, their films have a very rich texture to them that really separated their work from other directors at the time and even today.

Rupert Everett (My best friends wedding) plays Francesco Dellamorte, a cemetery grounds keeper who's day to day duties include the up keep of the graves and the grounds, digging graves with his lovable, dim witted rotund co-worker Gnaghi (François Hadji-Lazaro) and fighting off the hoards of the recently deceased (returners)who have been returning to life every night getting their energy from the Mandragola roots in the cemetery ( filmed at an actual abandoned cemetery in Italy). Francesco eventually meets a young beautiful widow played by the beautiful Anna Falchi and instantly falls in love. The two hit it off well and in a great scene decide to make love on her newly deceased husbands grave, waking him from his not so eternal slumber and is not too happy to say the least. Anna goes on to play three different roles throughout the film as Fransesco looses grip with reality and his own sanity.Gnaghi falls in love with a young girl shortly before her death, and later has a strange relationship with her decapitated head. Things just get stranger from here on out for the two graveyard workers in a story that twists and turns endlessly keeping it fresh and exciting until it's dramatic ending.

Cemetery Man is not just another zombie movie, it is also a love and loss story, a black comedy and a morality tale ultimately questioning the meaning of life, which is more than you can say for many other horror films. Over the years this film has won several awards.

The zombies are very well done. There is a scene involving a zombie boy scout troupe who rapidly chomp their teeth as they approach. Another amazing scene involves a girl returning to her dead boyfriends grave who was killed in a motorcycle accident and buried with his bike. As she is grieving over the grave she hears what sounds like a motor starting as the zombie biker bursts out of the ground riding his bike.

The story was written by comic book writer Tiziano Sclave, who after creating the character of Dellamorte Dellamoe (which means "of dead love") for the popular comic Dylan Dog, liked him so much he decided to write a full novel about him becoming the story of Cemetery Man.

Anchor Bat released a must own DVD of Cemetery Man in 2006. Thanks to the hard working and true fan of the genre Michael Felsher, the disc contains some truly great extras including an in depth featurette on the film called "Death is beautiful", interviews with Anna Falchi, Michele Soavi and more, an eight page booklet and an extensive bio on Soavi.

The 1990's was an extremely dry time for horror movies making Cemetery Man is the last true example of great Italian horror films, one of the greatest horror films to come out around this time, and in my opinion, of all time. The film is beautifully shot, every scene is almost like a painting making it a timeless masterpiece in cinema. Cemetery Man is an absolute recommend of the highest degree for those who want something more out of their horror movie.

Rating: A-
Review by Jason

Meat's meat and a man's gotta eat.

"It takes all kinds of critters to make farmer Vincent fritters." As unsuspecting passer-bys and visitors stop by at the seemingly quaint farmer Vincents hotel, most wind up as the main ingredient in Vincent's famous fritters in this very tongue-in-cheek horror film from 1980. This charming little film was directed by Kevin Connor who directed such films as From beyond the grave, The land that time forgot, The people time forgot and others, and was written by Robert Jaffe, Stephen-Charles Jaffe and Tim Tuchrello.

Farmer Vincent and his wife easily lure the victims in by coming off as charming, hard working salt of the earth kind of people gaining the trust of everyone unlucky enough to stumble upon this flesh farm. The film plays out almost like a parody of horror films that came before it making it a horrifyingly fun watch from beginning to end. One of the tag lines reads "You might just die...laughing." which sums up the experience of watching Motel Hell perfectly as it never takes itself seriously. At times it defiantly has a Texas Chainsaw Massacre feel to it and there is a great chainsaw battle towards the end with the sheriff and a man wearing a pig head...priceless.

Rot Calhoun ( Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales From The Crypt )who plays farmer Vincent is the star of the film and does an excellent job of playing both sides of the character, the unsuspecting trustworthy nice guy and the demented cannibal nut job. John Ratzenberger ( Cliff from Cheers ) plays the drummer of a band that is traveling in a van and ends up crashing near the hotel, you can guess what happens from there.

Motel Hell had a hard time getting off the ground. Tobe Hooper ( The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) was going to direct this film but after reading the script he declined due to the bizarre theme and the studio backing out. The script was written ten years before the film was actually released because no one wanted to back it, United Artists finally picked up the the film.

MGM released Motel Hell in a two pack with Deranged ( one of the greatest films on the life of Ed Gein ) under their Midnight Movies collection

This film almost exudes with campyness with not only the theme but with the outlandish acting and overall bizarre and sometimes silly scenes. The film makers definitely made this film with the intentions of creating a strange over the top humorous horror movie mixing just the right amount of each making it stick out compared to most of the other horror films coming out around the early eighties. Motel Hell is just a lot of fun and should be watched by anyone who considers themselves a seasoned veteran in the genre.

Rating: B-

Review by Jason

Vengeance never rests in peace!

" Mary Lou is back... god help the students of Hamilton High." Seven years after the first Prom Night comes this sequel that is not only more imaginative but far more entertaining.
Directed by Bruce Pittman who directed a few episodes of Friday the 13th the tv series and Twilightzone and written by Ron Oliver who directed Prom night III: the last kiss.
Prom Night II is a strange film, at times feeling like combination of the movies Carrie and A nightmare on elm st. with it's bizarre dream sequences and nightmarish tone.
The film starts in 1957 on prom night at Hamilton High. When the jealous boyfriend of prom queen Mary Lou (Lisa Schrage of Food of the Gods II and an episode of The Twilight zone)Bill Nordham (Michael Ironside of an endless array of great films) tries to get back at her during the crowning ceremony it goes horribly wrong and she is burned alive in front of all her peers. Now thirty years later Bill is the principle of Hamilton High and his son Craig (Justin Louis) is dating this years hopeful prom queen Viki Carpenter (Wendy Lion). A string of strange occurrences begin to happen to Viki, but it is not until she finds her dream dress for the prom when things really get strange and she starts to question her own sanity. While living with her strict parents, Viki begins to endure some unexplainable events including being sucked into a chalk board, feelings of incest towards her father, her rocking horse coming alive, killing a priest and many, many more until Viki is completely possessed by the spirit of Mary Lou which was dwelling in the old dress she finds.

There is never really a dull moment in the film due to it's scene for scene momentum that never lets up, there is always something eye catching going on in each scene. There are many moments when you wonder if what you are watching is really happening or just another dream keeping the viewer guessing just where is the story going to go next, and you never really know.
It really does feel like a Brian DePalma film.

Although a product of it's time, the special effects were OK, scenes that stick out are the girl attacked by an invisible force, the demonic horse, the chalkboard and the end sequence at the prom that will leave you speechless.

Almost every character in the film was given the last name of a cult film director including Craven, Ramero, King, Dante, Henenlotter, Carpenter and Waters.

MGM released a decent DVD of the film recently with no extras which is not surprising because it is MGM and they really don't put forth the effort with their releases, I would really love a commentary track with the director and maybe a few of the actors.
I was never a fan of the first Prom Night film and parts three and four were pretty weak, but Hello Mary Lou it's Prom Night two has it's own charm making it really a fun movie at heart.
This is a reccomend based upon it's strangness and Elm Street like feel.

Rating: C

Review by Jason

Everyone has nightmares about the ugliest way to die

Since released in 1982, Don't go in the woods ( aka The Forest 2, which it shares nothing in common with the first Forest film) has become a cult classic to slasher fans everywhere. This film also ended up on the video nasty list of the early eighties, banning it for years to come in the Uk. It was finally passed fully uncut by the BBFC and released in 2007. James Bryan directed this low-budget splatter flick and Garth Eliassen was the writer.
The film opens with a group of hikers out for a relaxing weekend of camping and hiking in the wilderness when soon they are stalked and picked off one by one by a crazy mountain man living deep in the woods. Peter (played by actor Jack McClelland with this film being his only appearance) tries to lead the group out of the wilderness before they all meet their end. Mary Gail Artz who plays Ingrid in this film actually later ended up being in some decent horror films including Halloween II, The Gate and Needful Things. Everyone else in the film are no-names and it shows, most of them being just friends of the film makers, the acting is absolutely atrocious.
The film gets the ball rolling pretty fast and jumps right into the slashing without wasting any time and follows the "kill scene every 5 minutes rule", which actually keeps it entertaining all the way through and never boring the viewer. Don't go in the woods knows what kind of film it is and exploits the slasher theme to it's fullest extent never wasting time building character development or adding a dull sub-story, it's slashing for slashing's sake, pure and simple.
The dementedly cheesy song during the credits at the end of the movie was created by H. Kingsley Thurber as a joke but when James Bryan heard it he loved it so much he decided to put it in the film. The Lyrics go "Don't go out in the woods tonight or you will probably be thrilled
Don't go out in the woods tonight or you will probably be killed. There's a friendly beast who lurks about, and likes to feast. You won't get out!(without being killed and chopped into lttle pieces)"
Tom Durry who played the deranged back woods maniac was also a singer and one of his songs can be heard in the film.
The main keyboard music the plays through out the film is great and at times nerve wracking, making each kill scene that much more intense. You almost always know when someone is about to be killed due to the music building to a frightening level.
Don't go in the woods is a low-budget, trashy splatter flick that is both nasty and very tongue-in-cheek. It is unknown how much of the film was suppose to be humorous but it defiantly plays out that way making it an extremely fun watch for any slasher fan who enjoys films of it's ilk. In the early eighties there was a countless number of slashers released due to the recent success of Friday and many, many others, and the film makers of Don't were riding the wave of the latest craze. Don't go in the woods is everything I want out of a good slasher and scores high on all marks.
Code Red released a superb DVD of Don't that not only looks great with it's director supervised full frame transfer, but comes stacked with extras including a 15 minute talk show appearance, an hour long featurette, and two audio commentary's with the director, star Mary Gail Artz and Derron Miller.
To get straight to the point this is a must watch for all slasher fans and a definite purchase, just don't take the film too seriously.

Rating: C +
Reviewed by Jason

The nightmare continues

If we have learned anything about legendary the Italian director Lucio Fulci's previous films it's to expect confusion and prepare for the nightmare that is about to play out before our eyes. In 1981's The Beyond (aka Aldilà, L', Seven doors of death, And you will live in terror:the beyond) we get a bit of confusion and a whole lot of nightmare sequences making this installment in Fulci's catalog of films my personal favorite.
A remote and cursed hotel that just happens to be built over one of the seven gateways to hell begins to posses and exterminate anyone who enters. Liza Merril (Catrolona McCall) is the unlucky woman who inherits the demonic hotel and soon realizes something is horribly wrong with the evil estate, and so begins a series of horrific events from zombies roaming to a blind woman who warns her to leave the hotel and a number of other bizarre scenes, some that make sense and others that do not and leave the viewer puzzled. Liza soon becomes friends with Dr. John McCabe (David Warbeck), as the two begin their journey to try and solve the mystery of the hotel.
The Beyond is really many different types of films wrapped up into one. It's a ghost story, a mystery, a zombie movie and more, at times it feels like The Beyond does not know what kind of film it wants to be. The zombie aspect of the film was actually tacked on and was not something Fulci wanted in this film, he wanted it to play out more as a ghost story but due to the recent success of the zombie films for that time the studio basically forced Fulci to throw it in.
Another great touch to the ominous feel of the film is Fabio Frizzi's hauntingly symphonic score, making the atmosphere even more creepy, if that's possible.
Sergio Salvati's photography is excellent and surreal. And thanks to the imagination of Giannetto de Rossi we get some unbelievable special effects that really push this film over most others from that time and even films of today. One of the great special effects in this film is when the young possessed girl is shot in the head exploding half of her face off ends up being extremely shocking due to the realism of the shot, and the masterful work of Rossi. The zombies are pretty well done, not the best I have seen but good none the less. The man slowly eaten to death by real tarantulas is very unnerving as they slowly pick him apart piece by piece. Just when you want the scene to end Fulci pushes it a bit farther to control the viewers fear and make it almost unbearable, for anyone who hates spiders, that scene would be agony to sit through. There are a multitude of other great practical effects scenes through out the film you just have to see for yourself. There is also an eyeball impalement scene that is guaranteed to sicken even the most jaded of horror fans. During the final scene in the Beyond's abyss, the sand-covered bodies lying on the ground were actually stark naked street derelicts, who were "paid" in alcohol.
Some may argue that the film feels disjointed due to it exploring of so many different themes, but I think that is part of which gives it the film it's charm. I never lost interest at any point in watching this, although confused at times, for the most part I stayed entertained and glued to the screen.
Lucio Fulci passed away in 1996 and the horror community lost a true genius of not only the horror genre, but in film making history. There will never be another Fulci and we will never see horror films reach the same level of the pure sense of dreadful atmosphere he created in The Beyond and City of the living dead. Fulci even dipped his toes in the spaghetti western genre and came out with a pretty cool film called Four of the apocalypse, a definite recommend.
Another Favorite of mine is The psychic (aka Murder to the tune of seven black notes), Which I consider to be one of Fulci's greatest masterpieces.
Fulci's films are his legacy, weather you like his films or not there is no argument against the fact that he put his stamp on cinematic history and changed the way we see horror movies.
Grindhouse releasing just released a fantastic 2 disc DVD set of The Beyond with a ton of extras including a hi-def digital anamorphic transfer that looks amazing, commentary with Catriona McCall and David Warbeck, rare on set interview with the mistero himself Lucio Fulci and much, much more. This one is a definite purchase.
The Beyond is a nightmarish view in Fulci's world and could not have been done by anyone else. It's stylish, scary, Gorey and in all senses of the word a true piece of cinematic horror.

Rating: B
Review by Jason

Welcome to hell

The dead shall rise and walk the earth. In 1980 City Of The Living Dead (aka Paura nella città dei morti viventi) was released making it's mark on the zombie scene with some of the most well executed zombie films for it's time. There is enough gore and sense of dread in this film to support a dozen others.

Add this with with one of the creepier atmospheres ever established in film making and you have one of the best early zombie movies ever to be created.

Writer and Director Lucio Fulci ( The godfather of gore who brought us such great films as Zombie, The Psychic, The Beyond and many more.) brings us to the town of Dunwich, where this nightmare takes place. Starting with a priest hanging himself from a tree in one of the most dreadful looking creepy cemeteries, thus opening one of the seven gateways to hell. (A common theme that plays out in a handful of Fulci films.)

Jerry (Christopher George) plays a reporter who after some strange occurrences realizes the death of father Thomas has opened this portal to an undead dimension. While hunting down the tombstone of the Priest he meets Mary (Catriona MacCall who also had roles in two other Fulci films The Beyond and House by the cemetery), a self proclaimed psychic who is also investigating the same strange occurrences. After finally locating the sought after grave of the priest in an underground lair, they find themselves at the epicenter of a colony of undead dwellers triggering a race to stay alive and close the gates to an emerging living dead hell.

The film was most impressive for an array of reasons one being the incredible job Fulci did in creating a dreary yet realistic setting with the use of blue lighting and collegiate shot sequences. Fulci has a way of exploiting human fears and putting them on screen, in a sense, watching one of his films is almost like watching someones nightmare play out right in front of your eyes.

There are a ton of excellent special and practical effects that leave you speechless including a kid geting a drill through the skull, a maggot wind storm using real maggots that completely cover the actors, and the most infamous scene where a girl throws up all of her intestines in which the actress had to regurgitate a plate of tripe to get the shot (her boyfriend in the car with her is the great director Michele Soavi). It's not wonder why a lot of actors had a problem with shooting some scenes on Fulci's movies, and some went as far as calling him a misogynist. Fulci's films do not always make sense and can be a bit confusing ( especially the ending of this film which has stumped fans for years) but he always manages to bring to audiences his true intentions...to scare the hell out of them.

Also bringing in some disturbing effectiveness is the talented composer Fabio Frizzi who also worked with Fulci on The Beyond, Manhattan Baby and Contraband. Fabio's score for this film did nothing but compliment the eerie effect of this film from scene to scene.

Once again, thanks to the greatest DVD company Blue Underground, we got a great DVD release of City in 2000, presented in widescreen format. The disc does not contain too many extras but the film looks pretty good.

Lucio Fulci was one of the most dedicated directors in the genre and goes the extra mile to bring a sick reality to his films, so even the most die hard, iron gut horror fans should be prepared to cringe.

Rating: B

Reviewed by Adam

Bloody Snow

We all know what we are in for when you sit down to watch a sci-fi channel original movie...crap. I have to admit some of this crap can be entertaining in a "so bad it's good" kind of way, and when I found out about the newest one called Yeti: Curse of the snow demon, I cancelled all plans for that night so I could watch this true gem that turned out to be far more entertaining than I anticipated.
When a football teams plane crashes in the Himalayas, it is up to the passengers to find a way to survive the brutal freezing conditions, and just when it could not get any worse for these throwaway actors, they begin to be stalked by mysterious, bloodthirsty beast roaming the frozen tundra. The Yeti dwells with in the near by caves where it drags it's victims to and feeds on the remains. The yeti itself looks really mangy with sparse hair here and there and the face is that of a demon. It took 3 and 1/2 hours each day to get the actor into the full yeti suit, and this guy does a lot of running in heavy snow conditions. The acting is horrendous and the story is pretty straight forward. You actually get to see the Yeti's face close up within the first few minutes of the film, so they really waste no time with getting straight to the point which is good for a film like this.
It does get pretty Gorey in a few scenes including someones arm being ripped off, a beating heart ripped out of a chest, a head stomped on and smashed like a melon, a leg ripped off and then the victim beaten with it and many, many more. At about the half way mark there is a startling revelation, we find out the Yeti can leap 100 yards in one bound, really notching up the cheese factor a few more degrees. Then you get the horrible CGI of the yeti running and leaping which is video game quality at best taking this movie to a whole new level of laughably-bad goodness making it the best sci-fi original I have seen yet...by far.
I literally was laughing out loud throughout the whole film.
This masterpiece of B cinema was written by Rafeal Jordan and directed by Paul Ziller. It's stars a cast of no name actors who will probably remain so after being in this. Sci-fi calls this film “a mix of Friday The 13th, Alive and Predator.”, very far fetched.
I have subjected myself to a lot of Sasquatch, Bigfoot and yeti films such as Abominable, The legend of Bigfoot, Snow beast, The snow creature, Search for the beast, Shriek of the mutilated, The capture of Bigfoot, The boggy creek films and a hand-full of others and I have to say this one is up there, probably in my top five. If a massive blizzard hits and you are completely snowed in and you have a six pack to kill pop this movie in and enjoy the campiness, you will not be sorry. This rating is based on the "so bad it's good" factor.

Rating: C+
Review by Jason
Yeti hits DVD on January 13th

A remake that rocks!

1988's The Blob is a true 80's classic in every sense. Written by Theodore Simonson and Kay Linaker and directed by Chuck Russel (nightmare on elm st. 3, The Scorpion King) present a great modern take on one of the great 1950's sci-fi flicks. Starring Kevin Dillon (Remote Control, Platoon) as Brian Flagg and scream queen Shawnee Smith (Saw, Repo! the genetic opera) as Meg Penny, the two team up to stop the vile, malignant life-form that crashes to earth and wreaks havoc on their small town of Arborville.
Kevin Dillon does a great job as the outcast of the town and Shawnee proves just as good as the cheer leading love interest. The film starts off with a bang and keeps the action rolling all the way through keeping the viewer always entertained. Not unlike a lot of other films from the 80's, The Blob is filled with tragic fashion choices and great one liners. Just when you think it's going to be another average horror movie you get hit with some Jaw-dropping special effects that are of Rob Botin quality (although he had nothing to do with this film). The special effects crew on this film was huge, and it really shows in the product. We get a scene of a guy being sucked down a drain pipe, a bystander flattened on the sidewalk and then peeled off like a sticker and my favorite scene of someone being eaten by the blob while hanging from the ceiling.
The Blob itself looks amazing and it's movements are fast and frightening. Rock salt was dyed purple to create the crystallized Blob for the ending of the movie.Donovan Leitch, who plays Paul Taylor, had to have a full body cast made of himself for one of the more complicated scenes where Paul is underneath the blob creating the unforgettable shot you see on the poster.
I have to say I enjoyed this version more than the original, although, for it's time the original was groundbreaking and terrifying. A lot of great sci-fi and nuclear age movies came out in the 1950's such as giant killer ants ( Them), giant spiders and so many more, but The Blob was one of the best, and if it was not for the original we would not have this awesome remake. I am usually not for remakes due to the over saturation of the trend this day in age, unless they are done well serve the original justice. It just seems in this day in age a lot of film makers are uninspired and are lacking any original ideas. Some examples of great remakes are The Fly, The Thing and even the remake of Dawn of the dead.
The Blob remake is an absolute must for horror fans in all genre's from gore to classic monster films, if you have not seen The Blob, go get it...before it gets you.

Rating:B-
Review by Jason